Friendship's Essence in Life

I was reading Sean L. Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens this morning about the account of relationship between ourselves and others. This was my third time to re-read this book and there was one topic that was discussed and really attracted my attention; it was about faithfulness between friends.

What ‘friends’ actually means? Are they the people that we usually hang out with? Or are they the people that will support in your weakness? Or are they just… be there for you? Covey described it very well in his book what a really good friend should be like. A good friend is a friend who is trustworthy and devoted to their relationship. They don’t talk behind our back. They uphold their support and our trust for them even when we are not around. They practically are being sincere friend everytime and everywhere, even though we might be far from them.

I have one best female friend that I have known since my first year of college. We supported each other when one of us had problems, with study, or about anything. I trust her and she trusts me. She is one of the dearest friend of mine which is really difficult for anybody to find even in life time. At my sophomore year, I had to move to another city because I transferred. We still contacted each other and remained best friend. Being best friend is a good thing, that even if we sometimes are really occupied with our own activities and life that make us contact each other less, it doesn’t affect our friendship. Once we contact each other, we are best friend, always. The quantity of the phone calls that we make doesn’t hurt our friendship. We are best friend nevertheless.

One of the most dangerous and poisonous epidemics known to human is gossip. Although our distance is thousands miles away, I took notice of some gossips that were told about my friends: about her friends, her attitude, how she dealt with people, and a lot other things that I perceived were not supposed to be anybody’s concern. One day, one of my good friends told me about a bad rumor about her (which he actually didn’t know himself, but heard from somebody). My reaction was, ”So?” I forgot what my friend’s reaction that time was, but I remembered telling them that she is my best friend despite anything. I don’t become her best friend depending on her relationship with others. I don’t become her best friend and then become influenced with the fact of how she dealt with people. In fact, I don’t really care.

If it is about my friendship with her, I don’t think other factors, that are about her personal decision on how to deal with other people, are my concern at all (except if she wants to discuss it with me). This is my friendship. It is about me and her. As long as she still considers me as her friend and is being true with me, then I will always be beside her and be her support and friend in whatsoever condition she will have to face. Even if other people, or even the entire world talks bad to her or goes against her, even if I have to be the last person standing with her against the others, so be it! That’s what I think a friendship is all about.

Best friends are not asked. You don’t ask somebody to become your best friend. It is just your decision whether you think your friend is worthy of being your best friend or not and if he/she thinks the same way about you. It is an unofficial and unsaid covenant, between you and your best friend.

Remember! Don’t ever ever… don’t ever ever… try to bond a friendship with somebody that you are actually sexually attracted to and claim them to be your best friend. It is not going to work and it is not going to be pretty. You will indirectly cheat him/her by doing that. It is definitely possible to bond a close friendship with someone from the opposite gender and remain best friend forever. But it is impossible to become a best friend with somebody that you are actually sexually attracted to.